Someone is trying to get you to join their club. Which appeal would get a positive reaction from you?
Again! We have to meet for the club again! Oh well, that’s life, so you coming with me or not?
Wow! I can’t wait until the club has another meeting. It is just what I need and everybody has a great time!
Most of us would choose to join club number two, unless of course you just like to be the odd man out for the sake of argument (weird thrill issues there). What if, however, you learned that the person who is a member of club number one really likes his/her club and would never consider not being a member? You might wonder what kind of person likes being in a club then goes around acting as if they hate it. The reality is, it happens, to millions of Americans on a daily basis. Somewhere along the line we learned from someone that the way to talk about your marriage is negatively. You’ve probably even heard (“gasp” or said) words like old man referring to your husband or maybe even ball and chain to refer to you wife and kids.
Marriages do have their ups and downs. Duh! I’m not here to reinvent the wheel or state the obvious. I’m asking folks to really pay attention to the way they advertise marriage. I see so many people shaking their heads and pointing their fingers at couples that decide to shack up together before tying the knot. “Why do they do this terrible thing?” Well, let me see, hmmm, could it be that you were always whining and complaining about your marriage? Who wants that?
Whoa! Hold on! Don’t think I’m advocating the try before you buy philosophy. I’m a definite believer in healthy marriages! That’s why I’m asking folks to stop and really think about what they say. Make sure you can always say positive things about your marriage, especially around younger people looking for examples. If you can’t say something positive because your marriage is having more serious problems than the usual ups and downs of learning to live unselfishly; get help! And by the way, that’s okay to talk about too. “Marriage is something I take seriously and right now it’s not what it could be so I’m willing to do something about it. I want the best for myself and my spouse.” Think of what an example that would be to someone contemplating the big commitment.
We want young people to get married first, not shack up together. We want people to make a lifelong commitment, not get divorced the moment something rocks the boat. We want… Really? That’s really what you want? Then start talking about it! Start advertising marriage as the best thing ever and you’re so glad you made that commitment! You may have no idea who is watching and listening. You just might be the example someone needs.
Say it loud and say it proud. Marriage Rocks!