Coaching or Shaming?

When looking back on my first experience of having to deal with someone’s nocturnal enuresis, I realize I came from the shaming camp. Please cut me some slack. I was a teenage counselor for the first time at a Christian summer camp. I thought the best way to make sure one of my girls (whose bunk just happened to be above mine) didn’t wet her bed again was to make her carry her bedding up to the camp lodge and laundering facility. She cried the entire walk.

Did it work? Well, if you look at it strictly from the clinical view, yes. That girl never wet the bed again the rest of that week. The rest of her life, well who is to say? She probably thinks of me as that evil camp counselor that didn’t know how to show compassion.

Since those days at summer camp, I’ve learned that someone who sees you at your worst and tries to help you overcome it without broadcasting it to the world, is someone you want to win for. Someone shaming you so you will never repeat your crime again will never get your vote for inspirational person that changed my life award. If I had it to do all over again, I would have taken the time to tell all the other girls, hey, Gracie over here is going to help me with a project, you guys go line up at the flag pole without us, we’ll catch up with you later.

I’m glad my children are growing up in a society where coaching is being taught and actively practiced. I hope that the many people they encounter during their lives will take the time to coach them, instead of the easy to get it over with shaming method. By the way, it’s not new. It’s the method Jesus chose. He didn’t shame us, but chose to come down to our level, walked beside us and helped us see a better way. He definitely gets my vote for inspirational person who changed my life!

 

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1 Comment

Filed under Community, Family, Parenting, Spirituality

One response to “Coaching or Shaming?

  1. Fawn Manner

    bed wetting can be controlled by some medications and some form of psychological therapy.”

    Current short article from our website
    http://www.healthmedicinecentral.com/diet-after-gallbladder-surgery/