Tag Archives: b movie

I Need a Tire and a Sledge Hammer!

There are a multitude of movies that explore, in one flavor or another, the fantasy of a world where there is no anger, lust, frustration, hatred or jealousy. It’s the usual, and futile, quest for Utopia, often an old B Movie, but modern ones exist as well.

The fact of the matter is that these things are very real human emotions. A future world where there is no undesirable emotion displayed can only mean one thing: look out because one of these days it’s going to blow! Things kept bottled up inside result in high pressure and highly volatile environments. In no way am I advocating wrong methods of displaying some of these emotions, especially anger. But there are other ways to take out your frustrations instead of harming yourself, others or property.

Today, I want to put my squatty fingers on the throat of Crohn’s Disease and strangle it until it breathes no more. But since that would be a not appropriate display of my frustration with this autoimmune disorder, I shall have to find a better way to vent my hurt and frustration. I’ve heard that tires and sledge hammers are a great way of getting out anger.

Wait a minute. Crohn’s has left me with little strength or energy today. I guess I’m back to strangling. While I’m at it, I’ll try to get rid of all the other autoimmune disorders as well. Couldn’t hurt.

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One Step at a Time

Imagine the hero of a black and white B movie desperately overacting his line as he realizes his many attempts to save the world haven’t worked yet and he is tiring way too fast. “Must conserve energy.” Finally using his brains to figure out the best way to defeat alien invasion, he summons his last bit of strength to save the world!

Welcome to the life of many Crohn’s Disease sufferers. We often do feel trapped in this B movie drama every day, trying to conserve what little energy we have for the important things in life. I’ve had to develop a gravy principle: Get two things done each day and everything else is gravy – a bonus. I have to pace my speaking/presentation commitments enough apart so I have time to recover between them. Truly life is lived, one step at a time.

While I’ve suffered from Crohn’s Disease for more than 25 years, I’ve only known what I was battling since January. Yeah, it really stinks. Sometimes I wish I could jump back in time and knock on the surgeons’ heads who opened me up in an exploratory surgery, took out 18 inches of my colon and left me a parting gift of a lovely scar. “Hey guys! Did you ever think that damaged colon might be due to Crohn’s Disease? Maybe you should follow up on this. Order a colonoscopy, some stool samples and some bloodwork.” Alas, no one was there to tell them, so they didn’t do it.

Maybe that’s why I’m where I’m at now, to make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else. There are many out there like me, misdiagnosed or undiagnosed for years, struggling against something they couldn’t name and didn’t know how to fight, just trying to figure it out on their own. So as this disease sucks my energy, I live life only one step at a time. I choose the most important things to do each day and save my energy for those.

I’ve made a lot of new friends and connections since my diagnosis. I now keep up with “Girls with Guts” and a Crohn’s Disease Online facebook page. It helps to see what others are struggling with and know that I’m not alone. It also helps keep us from reinventing the wheel. Hey, if something works – share it!

So since I’m taking just one step at a time, I’m going to make them count. This October, I’ll make them count at the Take Steps for Crohn’s being held in Tyler, Texas. I’m looking for a sponsor for a team, or else I’ll just sign up as an individual walker. Either way, I’m going to help raise awareness about this lifelong disease and how many times we look “normal” on the outside, but we are suffering greatly. Maybe I can help just one more 15-year-old girl avoid 25 years of not knowing the enemy. Everyone deserves to know what they are fighting against!

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