I was home schooling my oldest son and we were doing a science project with magnets. The only problem was, we didn’t have the right kind of magnets. A simple trip to the store was planned and I studied the magnets carefully before deciding which to purchase. This is something that I would gladly let my dad handle whenever he was visiting, but that wouldn’t be happening anymore. Cancer came. Now I had to stare at the magnets and remember how my dad always insisted on quality and the right tool for the job. I chose the magnets based on what I believed my dad would have advised.
It has been nine years since my dad passed away, but I still miss him. I still miss what made him special and how he still fit into my life, even after I got married and started my own family. I came to the conclusion several years ago that a girl always needs her dad, no matter how old she gets. She always needs that father figure in her life.
Stop! Don’t lynch me yet. I know there are folks out there who had a rotten father, an absent father or didn’t even know who their father was. But I’m pretty sure that somewhere along your life’s journey, you developed a relationship with someone who became a father figure to you.
My husband is great and I love him dearly, but he’s not my dad. He was never supposed to be. So Karl continues to be my best friend, my lover, the father of my children and my partner in life, but not a father figure in my life. That’s his role to our children, not to me.
So what do I do? I stop, take a look around and thank the gentlemen in my church and my community who have been father figures to me since my dad’s death. To every man out there who took the time to be there for someone who wasn’t your own child – thanks. You’re a lot like my dad.