Tag Archives: differences

How Perspective Defines the Unthinkable

One of the things my husband and I enjoy presenting at our marriage seminars is the fact that the differences men and women find fascinating about each other at the beginning can become frustrations after they are married – but there’s hope! We teach people how to reignite understanding their spouse and give them tools to turn those frustrations back into fascination about the person they love!

The funny thing about these principles, and many others, is that they can be applied to many relationships, not just marriages. So we found ourselves having yet another discussion with the oldest regarding the youngest of our offspring. Here is the scenario.

Greta was told to wash her hands before handling a book. She went to the kitchen sink that was full of the dishes I had just used to make breakfast, instead of either of the other two sinks in the house that were completely free. Michael was dumbfounded. Why would she choose theĀ  most difficult sink to wash her hands in? That’s easy. For Greta, she just wanted it done so she could move on to the next thing and the kitchen sink was the closest to her. She went for it.

After discussing it further, we came to the crux of the perspective problem between the two of them. Michael finds it unthinkable that someone could care so little about a situation. We then assured him that it was equally unthinkable to Greta that someone would care so much!

We interact with other people on a daily basis and perhaps we even judge them because of something they have done that we find unthinkable! But we must bear in mind that the unthinkable is molded by our perspective. Let’s give others some grace that their perspective may be different than ours and therefore their actions may not be as unthinkable as previously thought.

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Political Courtesy

I am coming clean – I am no fan of “Political Correctness.” There, I’ve said it.

I’m taking it a step further and trying to figure out why it annoys me so much. I’ve finally settled on the reason. Common courtesy is being legislated. At first glance, it would seem that we would all be in favor of common courtesy. If that’s the case, then why do we have to have so many books on manners and classes at places of business? Ask anyone born before 1950 and most likely they will tell you that there is a severe lack of common courtesy.

Now you are scratching your head thinking, but I thought you said political correctness is legislated common courtesy. How can there be no common courtesy anymore if it is being legislated? That’s just it – whose version of common courtesy and exactly what are we legislating? Back in the day, my mom said it wasn’t nice to pick on kids that were different, you were supposed to befriend them. It was called get out of your pathetic comfort zone and learn something about someone else. What is legislated today is if the kid that is different does something mean to you – you have no recourse because you have to be nice to them – it’s the law.

Think about it for a moment. You are an employer that needs tall people for the job because they have to reach tall things (assuming ladders will not work). You can’t discriminate against shorter people because that’s against the law, but you like short people. You just need tall people for this particular job. It’s nothing personal. But thanks to political correctness, everything is personal and everything can be fined now.

Wouldn’t it have been so much easier if we listened to our parents and grandparents when they taught us about common courtesy? You would know not to pick on someone that was different, but if you needed a small person to reach into a small opening, you asked them, without fear of hurting the taller and bigger people. You were nice to everyone, so when it came time for a job to be done, no one took it personal if you didn’t choose them. I believe it is time to get rid of political courtesy and bring it back to common courtesy, taught in the home and spread to the community.

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