Everything has to be done in a certain way and there is always only one way to do it that is right. Getting the job done isn’t important. Getting all the details perfect first and doing it right (even if it’s late) is of most importance. Yes, my oldest son resides in Perfect Country. I, on the other hand, reside equally in Fun and Control countries. This really messes with Michael’s favorite vacation spot – Peace Country. I wouldn’t know much about it as I rarely visit there.
So what happens when I need something done a particular way? I humbly admit that I will get it done. That’s what control country residents do, but it may not be as precise as the job requires. I don’t ask my daughter to do it. She lives in Fun and Control countries as well. The request is made to Michael. Here, perfect country, please cut this into many pieces all exactly the same size with no crumbs. And he gets the job done, precisely.
Learning where our kids function best, what countries they are from, has helped us tremendously in knowing how to connect with them and knowing how to draw out their strengths. It seems a far more regular occurrence for parents (and teachers) to expect all children to behave in a certain way and move around in our world in only that one way. What a blessing we miss when we fail to see who they really are. What a blessing we miss in being able to focus them on their strengths and applaud them for a job well done!
Take the time to study your children. If you need some help, visit the Flag Page website where you will find more about the four countries: Fun, Control, Perfect and Peace. You can find it at http://www.flagpagetest.com.
Being at The Center for Courageous Kids is a life changing experience. Going to a camp designed for kids with medical issues is freeing.
There is so much to write – too much actually. But when the little girl paralyzed from the shoulders down was put on a horse and got to ride, we all cheered for her!
Trained walkers held her back, head and trunk in place as they walked beside her on her horse.
So glad someone had the vision to create a camp for children with special needs!!
Greta is all about friends and fun. Things that take too long or get in the way don’t get much attention from her. The challenge: inspire her to pick a science fair project and follow through with it.
It’s possible. We have to find colorful and fun projects! I’m glad she has the freedom to choose a project that suits her.
My dream: a world where an individual’s personality is seen as an asset and life work matched up appropriately. Might as well dream big!!
My daughter asked me to make her a crochet thing then proceeded to hand me a piece of paper. Obviously, there was a disconnect. By asking a few questions, I found out she was wanting what they call a Cootie Catcher or an Origami Fortune Teller. I couldn’t help her with the project at the time, so she buzzed off to another fun adventure, making mud pies.
I tackled my to do list and had a moment, which I took to make a Cootie Catcher, with the help of an online video with a grade school girl demonstrating the fine art. I had made them myself years ago, but I wanted to see if it was different somehow. Nope, same thing. It’s amazing to think that something I played with as a child, a homemade paper fortune teller that made my friends squeal when they didn’t get the answer they wanted, is something my daughter plays with as well. I even put the colors, numbers and “fortunes” in the Cootie Catcher before taking it outside to Greta.
Greta had since forgotten her mud pies and the kitchen bowl she had borrowed, because the neighbor’s granddaughter was outside playing and that was more important. “Greta!” I called to her and face and tone when she answered indicated she wasn’t happy that I was interrupting her playtime with her friend. “Come get this!” She strained to see the small object in my hands. “What is it?” I had it on my fingers and demonstrated a few of the flips back and forth of the paper triangles. She squealed with delight. “I thought you weren’t going to make one for me.” I reminder her that I couldn’t right then.
Greta has shared the Cootie Catcher with the neighbor girl and now they have come to play mud pies together. I can see why Greta didn’t know the exact name of the toy she had wanted, because she zips from one thing to another. That’s not what is important to her. What matters is having fun – in the moment. It wasn’t a big deal to Greta that she said Crochet thing for something made out of paper. It was the anticipation of the fun and excitement she would have with the toy.
My sons, however, do not share Greta’s philosophy. Every T must be crossed and every i must be dotted. Period. If you don’t know what to ask for, you shouldn’t be asking for it. They will spend more time correcting their little sister than they will playing with her. This is where my wonderful referee skills come in. I have to convince the free spirit and the two perfectionists that they could all learn to appreciate each other.
I don’t mind making a “crochet” thing for Greta, even if she doesn’t use the right name. For a moment I was her hero, because I put a smile on her face and a squeal in her voice and a much desired toy in her hands. If only it could always be this simple to be her hero.