Tag Archives: Husband

I Am NOT Cute!!

I love it when you do that, it’s so cute.

I’m not cute!

Karl and I had this argument many times in college during our dating years. To me, cute means it made me go mushy – completely unable to resist. Karl would accept any other words, but not cute. He did not give me a reasonable explanation other than “guys aren’t cute.” So I learned to avoid using that word, even though I never understood why.

Flash forward 22 years and my 12-year-old son is able to put into words that make sense why this evil label of “cute” is so demeaning to a man. Matthew explained that cute is usually something that is helpless, like a newborn kitten. It is so adorably cute because of how much care it needs (just saying that sometimes men do behave like they need a lot of care). His tween wisdom was given, full of passion and determination, more than his father, to never be called cute.

Dealing with two generations of Leukert men, I finally understand why the word is so offensive to masculinity. While it is still true that women don’t limit the word “cute” to the helpless and needs care definition that men do; I will refrain from using that word to describe in any way the men in my family. I respect them enough to appreciate their definition of the word and use it appropriately around them.

Today, I’m grateful to finally have the mystery solved. To finally know “why” the word is so offensive and to make sure my words always express to my husband that he is “the man” in our house!

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Filed under Family, Marriage, Parenting

Saving Supper

For the past 13 months, pain has been a way of life for me. During that same time period, picking up the slack and taking care of me has been the way of life for my husband. But it’s nothing new. I picked a winner.

Karl and I attended a small Christian college in central Texas where the cafeteria hours were unmovable – even if it conflicted with a class. Seeking a bachelor of arts degree, I had to take foreign language and I chose French. It just so happened that French class got out five minutes before the cafeteria closed – and it was on the opposite end of the campus. Enter the hero – my boyfriend who became my husband.

Karl would eat supper then go back through line and get a tray for me, he arranged it with one of the cafeteria workers he had befriended. The entrance door would be locked, but I could knock on the exit door and Karl would let me in and I got to eat supper. For someone with digestive problems caused by Crohn’s Disease who has to eat three regular meals a day – no snacking – this was a lifesaver.

My husband continues to be my hero. I am grateful.

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Filed under Crohn's Disease, Family, Marriage

Vanilla Spice!

My husband and I administer a Facebook page, Unashamed Marriage. One of my husband’s latest finds that he shared on the page is about scent and sexuality. Evidently part of Cleopatra’s appeal to get two world leaders in her arms was her arsenal of aromas.

In my experience with the wonderful company, Discovery Toys, I learned about the power of scent even for children’s playthings. Vanilla is actually the scent that most closely resembles mother’s milk. So DT found a way to produce a soothing, textured ball with a light vanilla scent. The answer is yes, it was a hit among babies. It was comforting and reminded them of being at mother’s breast.

Getting any ideas here? There are many perfumes that feature the vanilla scent, in a variety of packages, formulas, and prices. Husbands, bring home some vanilla scented perfume for your lovely wife. Ladies, wear the perfume and drive your husbands crazy! If vanilla just isn’t your thing, take the time to learn what scents you enjoy.

God didn’t limit flowers to just a few scents. Neither are pleasant aromas limited to coming only from flowers. There is quite a lot of variety out there. Enjoy exploring all the things designed for our pleasure.

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Filed under Marriage

Even Keel

I’m running out of options and the few remaining aren’t that promising. My primary care physician and I agree on that. He’s great about realizing I’m not your average patient that you can just pump with drugs and so he searches for more natural remedies for me. I’m a bit of a medical freak and I know it.

Today he asked me how my stress levels were. Ha! Yes, it is true that reducing stress in a patient with Crohn’s Disease can be very beneficial to their guts. I’ll admit it – stress goes straight to my gut and I can literally feel it. My husband keeps an eye out for me and has even called me on some stressful situations and said it would be better for me to back out or avoid those situations. I’m so grateful for his support, but sometimes, stress just happens.

I’m a pastor’s wife with three kids, one of which has an autoimmune disease that keeps us going back to specialists every 6 months for MRI’s and other testing. Nope, no stress here. Did I mention that my husband actually pastors two sister churches and that they are each doing a Vacation Bible School this year – different programs of course – and I’m learning parts for both of them? My oldest is working at camp for the summer and I miss him very much, but I hey he is a senior now and it’s time for this mom to get in on all of the senior class fundraising things – don’t wait for school to start. Time is money!!

I suppose that for me, some of those stresses are worth it. I’d be a fool to think I could truly remove all stressors out of my life and remain forever on an even keel. By removing stressors, I’d also be removing amazing parts of my life. This disease has already taken enough from me. I won’t let it take my life.

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Filed under Crohn's Disease, Health & Wellness

My Gift His Birthday

Before my husband (finally) accepted his call to ministry, his background was in broadcasting. Things like marketing, knowing your audience, catchy phrases and slogans still stick with him at times. One in particular is 43×43.

Karl set a goal of losing 43 pounds by his 43rd birthday, today. He made this goal back in January and the catchy 43×43 became his hashtag on Twitter and a constant reminder of what he was working toward. I’m more than proud and thrilled to say – he met and slightly surpassed his goal! Hallelujah!!

Happy birthday to him, but a gift for me. I’ve been concerned for some time regarding my husband’s health, for a variety of reasons. I’ve spoken with him about my concerns and spent many hours in prayer over it. He’s tried several things, but the 43×43 finally worked! Intermittent fasting, counting calories, God’s guidance and a bigger dose of fresh fruits and veggies were all a part of this success. For me, it is an answer to prayer. I know my husband is healthier and more physically active now and that gives me security.

As a wife and mother, I want my husband around for as long as possible. I have no desires to be a widow with three children. So Karl taking his healthy more seriously and losing the weight – that is truly a gift to me. It says he is committed to doing his part to be around as long as possible for his family. My gift, his birthday. I am blessed and so grateful. Praise the Lord!

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Filed under Health & Wellness, Healthy Lifestyle

What Kind of Married Man?

What kind of married man doesn’t even notice when another woman is attempting to flirt with him?

A man that is married to a woman that is also his lover.

At a doctor’s office I worked at once, a Mr. ?? came in one day and behaved quite badly. I ignored him. I changed the subject and I was going to ask the doctor to get rid of him. After Mr. ?? left, I asked why he behaved so badly. They assured me at the office that he was married. The next words out of my mouth: well then Mrs. ?? needs to do a better job at home.

Ladies, when a man is thrilled about what he has at home, there is no need to stray.

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Filed under Marriage

Unashamed

I’ve been accused of many things in my life, but I must admit, one of my favorites is being called a newlywed – after being married for 16 years! Karl and I don’t have all the answers, not by any means, but we’ve been greatly blessed and we are so thankful! But it wasn’t always easy and sometimes there was a lot of tears and misunderstandings along the way.

By the time we reached our 16th anniversary, we truly felt like newlyweds again, because of some amazing changes in our relationship. Those changes had to do with the various connections in our lives. We are a lot more related to the things around us than we like to admit. We had a few things that we considered to be non-negotiable. One of those was attending church together as a family. My husband wasn’t pastoring at the time, and the church we had as our home base was sucking the life out of me. The people weren’t bad. The people weren’t mean, but it wasn’t a good fit for me and my needs (and our family’s as well). I had to take a stand. I felt my salvation was at stake.

It was a difficult step, to tell my husband that the kids and I would visit another church and he could get a ride to go to the same one we’d attended for years (we only had one car), since it was the closest one. That was his wake up call. The family needed to stay together. Once this change was made, amazing things began to happen. I came alive. In so many areas in my life, I came alive. I started writing again, something I had always loved to do. Karl could see a difference in how I interacted with him and the children. His favorite benefit, however, was the fact that I was also coming alive in our marriage.

As the family soaked up the love, healing and nurturing that our new church family freely gave (it was a good fit for us and them), we in turn were more than willing to do our part and help in whatever way we could. The entire family came alive and my husband was finally able to reach a place where he could take that terrifying step of saying yes. You see, God had been after him to be a pastor for years, but it wasn’t until the entire family came alive that he was in a position to surrender to that task.

So many things changed for our family, when we committed to making one change that was desperately needed. With that one change, I began writing again. I interacted with my children in a much healthier way. I became a better lover to my husband. Karl was able to see that taking the time to help his wife who had been with three children all day long and desperately needed some adult conversation, had amazing results. Agreeing to God’s plan for his life is a step that might not have happened were it not for this one change.

So when friends accused us of being newlyweds, I smiled. When coworkers complimented me on the way I treated my husband respectfully instead of picking him apart like many of the girls at work did; I was grateful they could see the blessings of a thriving and happy marriage. It led Karl and I to joining the Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage team and also helped us to launch a facebook page together – Unashamed Marriage.

You have many connections in your life. Take the time to make sure they are healthy ones. You have great potential – live up to it!

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Filed under Family, Marriage, Spirituality