Tag Archives: literal

What Tools Should You Have in Your Toolbox?

If you hang around neuro-psychologists long enough, you just might pick up a couple of their phrases. Going through the evaluations, various testings including follow-up MRI’s and so forth with Greta’s Acute Disseminated Encephalomyelitis (ADEM), we’ve spent some time with a great neuro-psychologist. One of her phrases that we love -Tools for your Toolbox!

Basically, this doctor, who is a favorite among all the kids and parents because she is just so awesome, says her goal is to make sure Greta has enough tools in her toolbox to handle dealing with ADEM in day to day life. Now nearly three years after that terrifying ordeal of seeing my little girl hospitalized and hooked up to all kinds of things, I realize that tools in the toolbox can apply to any of us. I’ve also seen that we’re a lot happier when we embrace this.

I’m getting ready to send my firstborn off to college. He has his own issues that he deals with, like being an intense introvert and being addicted to his routines. Seeing him being forced by circumstances to change his routine is like watching ants that have lost the line. So yeah, I’m a little nervous for him, but I’ve taken on Dr. Harder’s mantra and I’m doing everything I can to make sure that Michael has the tools he needs in his toolbox to deal with life as a college student hundreds of miles from home.

So what tools should you have in your toolbox? That’s easy, the ones that help you cope and deal with life – in addition they should be legal, moral and ethical. That usually helps. While there will be similarities, there will also be tools that will be different for each person. Greta, being very literal now and decreased math skills due to ADEM, needs tools to help her remember to ask people to help her when she doesn’t understand something. She needs to tool of asking others to slow down and help her until she gets that joke, because she’s so literal.

Michael, the extreme introvert, knows he would rather do just about anything before talking on the phone to anyone. So a tool in his toolbox is going to be a good friend willing to make a phone call when he can’t.

What tools should be in your toolbox? Find those things that help you cope with life and deal with the day to day stresses that living on planet Earth serves up on a regular basis. The amazing thing is, you’ll usually find tools for your toolbox in your family, church, community and friends.

 

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The Four Friends

Greta had her one year follow up regarding her ADEM. It seems we learn more about this disease each time we see her specialists – actually we learn more about how it is affecting Greta. Her MRI looked great, no new lesions and shrinkage of most of the original ones. There is one spot on her brain that isn’t going away. The doctors said that since it is one year out now, most likely she will have that spot for the rest of her life. This will make things interesting for her. If she ever has an MRI of the brain in the future for any reason besides the ADEM, she’ll have to let them know ahead of time that she has a spot on her brain, from a childhood illness.

We learned that there are four friends that hang out together after brain injury/trauma/lesions. They are perseveration, decreased math skills, memory oddities and being very literal. And yes, Greta is textbook with these issues. She latches on to things and won’t let go, like a honey badger. She’s been taken down a grade level in math and we never know when her memory is going to take a brief hiatus. What about being literal? Don’t even think about using a figure of speech unless you are prepared to spend 10 minutes explaining it to Greta.

The literal issue is probably one of the biggest. Most everyone has run across someone who has no concept of boundaries or sharing/taking turns. So the latching on to things of perseveration won’t hinder her throughout life. Many people hate math. Greta will have many sympathizers. Who knows what is memory and what is not? Half of our lives are spent connected to some sort of electronic device to prompt us of important things anyway. But being very literal – it could lead to all kinds of trouble.

I remember saying something like, “It’s got your name written all over it Greta.” She did indeed look for her name and then got very angry that I had lied to her because obviously her name wasn’t on it. She had no concept of the figure of speech. This is one of many incidents she has gone through. So I will start praying now that there will always be at least one person in the group (Greta loves being with friends) that will help her get past this literal hurdle. For now, it is her family. I pray she finds friends to help her overcome these setbacks in college and eventually the workplace.

Perhaps this is why the Bible tells us to confess our faults to one another. It doesn’t say sins. It says faults. If we open up and share with each other our struggles, the hope is that your friends will pick up the slack where you need it most. But this requires vulnerability. This requires risk. What if I share my struggle with someone and they just laugh at me? What if they use it against me and keep me from getting that promotion I was set for? We can start by being a good example. You probably already know an issue that one of your friends struggles with. Go out of your way to be a true friend and pick up some slack. Be intentional about helping your friends and family. It matters.

Suppose Gr

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