My husband and I do marriage seminars, in a few flavors to meet the needs of the local audience. But no matter what style of seminar we are presenting, the facts are the same. In general men initiate sex more than women. Men everywhere are having a moment of silence for this sad fact. In general, women will be shocked that it even matters. At the end of the day, it may not matter much as long as sex happens. On the other hand, most men get a thrill out of being the one pursued once in a while. It’s not without danger and risk though. Some crazy things can happen when women initiate sex.
1. She often becomes a dictator. When a woman initiates intimacy, she sort of skips that gentle flirtation mode and goes straight for the “we’re doing it right here and right now” mode. It’s a good thing that this is usually a turn on for men, after they catch their breath from being surprised.
2. She stands her ground. Sometimes a couple will agree to an intimate encounter out in the beauties of nature, but women generally crave security and privacy. This means she will decide where she feels safe and she won’t budge. If she decides a nice soft spot in between some trees is perfect, she may not be seeing your view – looking over the cliff’s edge. But she’s going to stand her ground for this safe place for her and you’ll never forget it.
3. Her “rules” don’t apply. Basically, she exercises the right to redefine previously set sexual boundaries when she is the initiator. Perhaps he has been wanting to try a new position, but she won’t budge until the day she takes over and initiates. Then she decides it’s worth a try. At this point, guys can get frustrated that the rules don’t apply to her, or be grateful that it happened. The good news is that sometimes after she rewrites the rules for herself, she’ll sometimes rewrite them for him as well.
Karl and I have been working through a large organization for a couple of years now, presenting marriage seminars that are man friendly and fun! We’ve enjoyed the ability to send big stuff to headquarters and we’ve been content (somewhat) to follow the corporate rules. There were a few times where we felt we ought to go off on our own at some point, but it was just a thought in the background.
Everything changed in November when we got a phone call saying the corporate program was completely done away with and now all of us trained “local” presenters were either on our own. Now that thought in the background was right in our faces. Time to get cracking on putting our own program together! It’s a good thing we’d been working on it, piece by piece, for a few months. It will still be some time before our own presentations are completely ready.
In the meantime, we have permission to keep using the material we used before, just without the usual support from headquarters. But the game is all changed. We are having to pay the sales tax. We are having to make sure we are licensed to do business in our state and we are the ones opening a business checking account.
The process of setting up your own business really makes you appreciate being under the umbrella of a large organization. Funny how we appreciate things more after the fact. Everything is different now. But one thing has stayed the same. We are still in ministry to not only save marriages, but make them awesome!!
So, please check out our website, still under construction, and our Facebook page – Unashamed Marriage.
This weekend I was at a retreat for pastoral wives. One look at the schedule and I knew I was in trouble. Two days of awesome seminars and activities in San Antonio, Texas, and me burdened down with fatigue and pain from Crohn’s Disease. The bus was going to load up at 2:00 Saturday afternoon and not coming back until 10:00 that night. How would I manage all of the activities?
I discovered that in order to experience life without limits, I had to limit myself. Yes, chew on that one for a while.
Presently, my fatigue is somewhat manageable if I can get a 30-45 minute nap (yes, I love even longer ones) in the morning. If I get in one morning nap and pace myself the rest of the day, I do okay. But there were seminars scheduled all morning and activities all afternoon. So I limited myself.
I cut out one morning seminar and took my required nap. On the tour bus, I commandeered the back seat and brought my pillow and blanket with me. Yes, I missed some great conversations on the bus and a great morning seminar, but I experienced life without limits in exploring a cavern, The Alamo and downtown San Antonio, an incredible vegetarian restaurant and the San Antonio Riverwalk.
I still attended other seminars, I just skipped one of the morning lectures. I still did the tours, I just slept on the bus between destinations. By limiting myself, I experienced life without limits that I thought would have otherwise been impossible.